March 25, 2017
The African Sun Times
Africa's #1 News Website- Celebrating Everything African
Well, i think its true. Though, i wouldn’t frame it that way. We must remember that our African men were raised by our lovely African forefathers. Culture, tradition is not easily faded. I for one have seen families where a male child IS NOT ALLOWED to get into the kitchen if there is a female around, even if the food is there, cooked and in the pots, they simply have to ask the female around to go and get it. So there, you can determine the rest.
The ones who are still holding on to the “old ways” are probably just concerned and don’t want to loose their identities… they want to be different from the American/European brother.
I think if you look around too, you will find women who like men with those characters. i.e. these women want to take care of their men, feed them, praise them, clean after them etc…
so bottom line i would say, you follow the path that pleases your heart, if you want a man to change the diapers, then i’m sure you can find this kind, on the other hand, if you want to baby a man, you then too also know where to look!!
This lady has had a traumatic encounter with her man of choice. She expressed her disappointments in a poignant manner. However, by her own admission, she “dated a Cameroonian,” but not married to the Cameroonian. While claiming superior knowledge of her own culture, she overlooked the fact that she sold her jewel at a very cheap price. She got her momentary but transitory pleasure only now to look back with regrets. Rather than admit her own culpability, she now paints the African man with a broad stroke that smacks of cultural prejudice. So you wanna marry or “date” an African man? Think again…
Thank you for this information because I don’t like those type of men at all.an african man try to talk to me two days ago and I kept walking.I’m glad I did. Ps angela brown
Sold her jewel at a very cheap price?
The article above is very correct African men always cheat no matter how beautiful or caring his wife is. sometimes the lady outside is not as beautiful as his wife. He communicates with many ladies even though he is married.– No respect for the oath of marriage. I am a Cameroonian married to an Egyptian . At least if he wants another woman he will marry her not multiple concubines at the same time. Every woman a Cameroonian man meets, he wants to sleep with even when the woman is married with children……shame on you!!!!
I’ve been married to my husband from west Africa for 5 years and he treats me and my kids like royalty. He is the best man I’ve had in my life I’m 42 and African American he supports my children like their his own and my family loves him to pieces. There’s bad in all cultures dont let one bad apple spoil the bunch. I personally would never have any desire to date an American black man from all the lies hurt and cheating they put me through
I am married to a man from west Africa Mali to be exact, we’re in the process of getting divorced because I believe he used me for his green card. Although he didn’t get it thank God! We have a 5 month old son together and I have a 7 year old from a previous relationship. He treats my daughter like she’s his ….. When he’s happy!!! When he’s upset.. She’s “your”daughter. So his love for me and my daughter is very conditional. He can be so mean when he wants he belittle me, lie to me and he might still be cheating I wouldn’t no because I don’t understand his language. He can be talking a girl on the phone right in my face and I wouldn’t even know it. He brought me a car but put it in his name so whenever he gets mad at me he physically take my car keys away from me. .. Leaving me in the house with no money no car for days. He always say to me ” you know I don’t car about you” , ” get out my house.. What are you here for?” Very verbally abusive. We have absolutely nothing in common… I’m only 24 i’ll be 25 in 17 days I waisted to much time in this bs marriage I gots at go. I can’t deal …. I finally told my family what’s been going on. They’re moving me out today. Pray for me.
I am married to an african man from Ghana and I feel in my heart that he is cheating on me. He got his green card right after we married two years ago in the states. He was a dream come true when we got married. Then he started going back and forth from our home in the states to Ghana for months at a time without me. I haven’t ever met any of his family in Ghana, and I am not ever allowed to accompany him to there.i believe he married me to get his green card. In a couple of months he will apply to have the conditions removed from his card, and I fear what he will do then. I don’t know what to do. I’m list as to what to do.
I am so sorry to hear this a similar thing happend to me I stuck it out now he has left me gone back to his country to live I have 3 children and 5 grandchildren been married 38 yrs
I’m a Ghanaian man who is in a similar situation as your husband. My advice is be a good wife and don’t make him feel like you are blackmailing him the greencard. I know a lot of you think Ghanaians like going back home to get married but that is very uncommon with this generation as it is too expensive and risky. Go with him to Ghanaian programs, don’t look down on his culture,dont call his foods trashy or POS even if you don’t like them, don’t act too insecure and I promise you will be with him forever. Dont punish him by denying him sex because that is the biggest reason why Ghanaian men leave their marriages.
WOW! YOUR story frightens me. I am sorry you’ve experienced this, but how did you get involved with him do you feel as if he was playing you? What made him switch out on you? I don’t l like that he was mean to your daughter when he got mad was he younger?
Majority of time if you are an African American woman they uses you guys for green cards and run off. Because they think African American women are ghetto. If you are a white woman they treat them like gold and even talks bad about their African sister to the white woman. If you date or marry another African man make sure you look before you leap.
I agree with you because the same happened to me. And we have 2 kids together, that he doesn’t call or see. I was loyal to him and kind. It still didn’t matter. Me and our kids ended up homeless because he kicked us out on street moved a hispanic/white woman in after I moved out. And everyone had warned me ahead to avoid them. It happened also to 5 or 6 of my female relatives that married the men. All are now divorced. The horror stories that went on in their homes sounded similar to what went on in my fake marriage.
Make him pay child support. What they stupid ass don’t know if you catch them writing it on social media and telling it to someone and you hear and record it. Federal Government will throw their ass out of this country. The Federal Government will take green card and their citizenship away. Leave them Africans alone. He is sitting back laughing how he made a fool out of you. The green card is more important than his kids. He is a fucking looser. It is illegal to marry someone for papers.
Yes he did make a fool out of me. I feel bad and I’m trying hard to get on with my life. I was advised by relatives to go get counseling because I had a hard time dealing with this. Child support office has placed him on child support. He became a LVN recently and sent me bad text that child support took too much of his check. But he makes $25/hour. I am also in the process now of trying to get an apartment for my kids. I’m moving out my grandmother’s house. My grandmother want me and my kids to continue to live with her, but I think it’s time I get on my own feet. Right now, I have part time job and trying to get back into college but it’s not easy.
Keep your head up sis!! Don’t let him bring you down and do not turn his kids against him. Before he leaves this earth, he will run back to you and say he is sorry for what he did to you and his children he has with you. God got your back and thank The Almighty that you have wonderful family right by your side. My grandma always told us” Don’t bite the hands that food you”.
Thank you for the encouragement. I needed that. God bless you
The thing that is hard for me right now is that I am having hard time find a decent place to live. I keep getting turned down for apartments because I do not make enough money. I have to make three times the rental rate. Most of the cheaper complexes are in undesirable neighborhoods. But it looks like as of now, I have to just accept what I can afford in the bad neighborhood. Just to have roof over me and my children head. I see now why it’s also important for us women to have our own, before getting married because a man can pull the rug from underneath your feet and you life will get turned upside down. I just didn’t know the man that I married was after a green card. I thought it was real love.
This is Cindy A. My husband will be a citizen this year. I know he has been texting someone else telling her he is in love with her etc… So I will just be glad for him to get his citizenship and be done with me. God help the next victim he entices.
Sorry to hear of this….. i found this behavior in men of all races…its the evil intent of the person not the place or country… im glad you are getting away from that nonsense
Hello i married an african man from mali we moved in together and he would not put me on his bank account. He always say he was broke. And he told me he was not going to support me and we were married what the fuck. But i lived with him two weeks and left him.
(1) Why did you need him to support you? (2) As an African man myself I can tell you he didn’t want to put you on his account because he thought you spend money needlessly and would run his account down( I took my Afriacn American wife off my account because of that)
I’m so sorry you had to suffer.
God bless you and prayers going up for you I am also married to an African man with conditional love for my daughter and I . It’s very sad I have not filed the paperwork and will not. His words of love does et match his actions. I feel this is false .
This is horrible , I hope everything is going well for you and you’ve found someone that treats you the way you deserve.
You just haven’t caught him yet.
I know this thread is old but are you still happily married? Im curious because most marriages of africans i know married to Americans lasted 6 years then divorced. I heard this is when they get close to get their citizenship.
The thread is still going on strong. As to your question, yes I am still married and have been married to the same African-American great lady since December 5, 1970. And thank you for asking.
Cheating comes in all walks of life. You are so right
Well said …my husband is from ivory coast and he treats my children and I very well.
I love my W. African husband as well. We have been married 5 years. How did you succeed in blending cultures?
Yes I agree, I’m married to a Ghanaian, the best day of my life, he’s everything I ask the Lord for
I may just be lucky. Married to west african. And he respects me.
Only truth I’ve read is the love making. He can have sex 24 hrs. If I let him..
Holla holla on that girlfriend I am married to a East African who is the love of my life ! Treats me like a queen
I am currently in a relationship with a african man, He is from West Africa. Yes our cultures are different but he has taught me so much about his culture to allow me to understand why he sometimes does the things that he does. He is not controlling but he does have rules he likes me to follow. These rules are for my protection such as not hanging out all night long and answering my phone when he calls. Other than that he is the best man I have ever met, We been together for two years and he has shown me way more than an American man has ever shown me. I believe everyone has flaws reguardless of where they come from it’s up to us what we will accept and what we will not. Everyone can not be put in the same category so far things are great for me and I pray to become his wife one day. The mistake I may have made is giving up the goods before marriage but I wouldn’t change a thing about my baby! He treats me like a queen and If he does cheat I never suspect anything. So please wish me luck that this is the one 😉
Here here! I love my Gambian man!
I’m with a Gambia Man and he is a great guy but like they say they don’t like to be in the kitchen with u they love to gave a lot of sex and calling u they expect u to answer but guess what nono not I
Now its over, they are rotten to the core.
@ Yvonne you are the greatest
Hello was your husband from Gambia?
Are you dating someone from the Gambia? I am as well I would love to talk
Don’t let your past dictate your future. All men are not the same. I married twice, and divorced for two entirely different reasons. I knew my second husband was a whore the day I met him, but he insisted he could change and though I knew better, I chose him with my eyes wide open. When he cheated six months into our marriage, it was not a surprise. He was surprised by my reaction. There is no reason anyone should tolerate disloyalty. When women start kicking these hoes to the curb, maybe then they will grow up and behave responsibly. As long as you put up with it, why would they change? He mistreated you, but you selected him and you allowed it. We teach people how to treat us and you taught him that it was okay to abuse you. Claim your part. Understand it and change you.
I said all that to say I am dating the most wonderful man from Nigeria. I have never met a man so kind in my entire life.
Agreed…. In honesty most times we know when we have selected the wrong mate.. but it is our pride that tells us that we have what it takes to change them… smh
Im married to an African man from Delta State, Nigeria. hes not really affectionate and romantic but he works hard, hes extremely intelligent and he gives me everything I want. he belittles me sometimes but im getting use to it. he doesn’t speak his language, ibo fluently but when he talks on the phone I always wonder if hes talking to another woman. all the African men that I have met, many of them from Nigeria, Ethiopia and Ghana have all been cheaters but so are majority of the men in America. I think cheating is a worldwide disease.
i agree with u cheating is a worldwide disease.
I am an African American woman who is married to a Ghanaian man. He is the best man i have ever met in my life. We got married in Ghana and I am so blessed to have him in my life. My husband is such a gentle man, so respectful and loving. I am the tough one in the relationship. I am from Brooklyn,NY and yes I do have a big mouth. I will not tolerate cheating or violence in my marriage. I am not a African woman. Trust and believe he will get busted upside his head if he ever disrespects me.But knowing my husband that is not his character. I am now 6 months pregnant with his first child.
well honey i’m happy for you good luck!
This is a very late reply but was wondering how you and your baby, husband are doing. I am married to a Ghanaian man. Would like to chat more, please inbox me or reply. Have questions. Tnxs!
I am a white American and I have been married to a Ghanian for two years. When we first married he was a dream come true for me, loving and very caring. He obtained his green card and has made several trips to Ghana and back to USA during these two years. I have wanted to go to Ghana with him at times but he wouldn’t ever allow it, always making excuses. I haven’t ever met any of his family or friends. His mother died a month ago while he was visiting in Ghana. The funeral isn’t until the end of this month, and once again I am not allowed even to come for the funeral! He will be gone for a total of four months before he returns to the states, just in time to get the conditions removed from his green card. I believe he has a significant other in Ghana, even though I don’t have physical evidence. I believe he married me so he could get a green card. I need advice.
In all honesty, I am very sorry to hear this is happening to you. I don’t wish this on anyone. You said you are a white American… The old saying is a brother will get a obruni becasue he “might” think it’s a good look & his life will advance (prosper), in your situation this could be true…not to say that is the case all the time because this forum has women off all ehtnicities that have similar complaints, but again in your case this “might” be true. Also when women have a gut feeling, we’re usually right. As you stated, he might have a family already or a wife. This explains why you haven’t been invited to his country. His wife may know his family & social groups. Another factor, he’s just a low down schemer in everyway. When it comes to other cultures, we have to be very careful or we will become a statistic of fraud . It’s better the devil you know than the angel you don’t know. I am married to a Ghanaian 11 yrs now, we have 2 kids, 1 biologically his. I went to Ghana with him & our then 1 kid 5 yrs into the marriage…met parents, friends, his church & all. Yes, he did get his green card after we married & I was worried that I could’ve been a statistic too! I expressed this to him even, he laughed, and said nonsense. I am a very blessed women & feel your pain. I hope a good man will come your way. This Ghanain man sounds like he is on his way out of the door. However, I am a sucker for love & hope things turn around for the best, I hope he get his cat together & that you wake up one day, realizing it was just a bad dream, a phase. I hope all the best for you dear. Blessings.
Ummm you need to wake up hun. With all of this evidence indicating that he has someone back home, why are you still hanging around
truth177: Hello. It’s been a long time. Just an update. It has been a year since my Ghanaian husband and I got married. Our son is 5 months old. We are still going through the immigration process so he is not in the states yet. But will be here probably in Oct. Its been tough with him still in Ghana but we are doing just fine. I work full time so I dont depend on him financially. I am an independent woman who loves my husband but im not needy. My husband has turned out to be my best friend. When I met my husband he was a quiet man who did not talk much at all. He was never a phone person and he always liked to be alone. Well those days are over. I talk to my husband about everything. We joke and laugh all the time.My husband is a pro-soccer player who is physically fit with a perfect body. I am this semi thick woman who loves to cook and eat. Lol. I can be myself with husband. I don’t have to be fake. Even though he is still in Ghana and the economy is horrible, he sends me money often. I adore my husband. We plan on having another baby next year.
Late rply. That is great news! You seem happy and optimistic… I’m very happy that things are working out for the good. Patience is a virtue. I continue to hope all the best for your union & your family.
I’m a African American that married a Ghanaian. I got what I asked God for along time ago. He was right on time too. I went to Ghana to marry him in July. Just know his family is way more supportive than mines. If we both get out of line, we threaten each other about his grandparents getting involve, well just know we don’t want that. When I was there with him in Ghana after we got married his Nana specifically said to him on the phone, not to shame them. I give God all the glory. Before I went there his family had me a engagement ceremony and the whole 9 yards. I’m married into a very,very,very strong Christian valued family, including the husband. Grandpoppie said to me at my engagement ceremony to put God 1st in my marriage & everything I do. And I do. He’ll be here soon. He’s God sent I do know that. His mom was getting on him about being single for 3 1/2 years and told him he needed to be married and settled by the time he turned 35, he then told her women are expensive and for her to choose his wife & it took her 3 weeks before coming up to me telling me about her son.She said the spirit had been coming to her about me. I’m under the wings of a prophet here in the States which is from Ghana and he’s my husband & I marriage counselor. I know all my in-laws which are from Liberia,& Ghana. His father side he said is evil their from Kumasi, and he never talks to them like that. Anything to keep his wife safe, he did that. He’s not controlling, he’s not verbally, nor physically abusive, he cooked for me a lot in Ghana, he’s just a good God sent, God fearing man. Somewhat arrogant lol but its all good I can be sometimes too. So not all African men are bad.
ooooooooooooookaaaaaaaaaay I was really, really, really, nervous after hearing all of the negativity about Ghana men. I am seeing one now, and he is a minister. I drill him on eeeeeeeeeeeverything, he knows that I am so skeptical, one sign, anything.. and POOF!!! IM GONE. but he has been wonderful so far, no issues. I talk to him, morning, noon, and night. If he is not with me, we video call until we fall asleep, One time I let his telephone stay on to see if I hear sounds or see anyone, but no sounds after hours, yes I did that, I will still be watchful because the probability to toooooooo high for cheating with African men. You will not, birth a GREEN, yellow, purple, red, card ANYWHERE OVER HERE. but Thank you, i feel little relieve.
On Facebook I am “Ife Means Love brings peace”. You may inbox me.
How are things going now? I hear they change after you have children?
Congrats, I to is African American, and went to Ghana to marry my husband. His mom & I traveled abroad. Actually he told his mom to choose his wife, and we work at the same place, she told me the spirit had been leading her to me until for a couple of weeks & she then came up to me. We have a marriage counselor, and my in-laws supports me 100%. I thank God for his tender grace & mercies. They had me a engagement ceremony here, and we got married over there. His Christian values he take serious. Now me in the other hand, when he do step out of line, I say my peace and we both threaten to blackmail each other by saying we will get Nana involved…Neither 1 of us wants Nana nor Grandpoppie involved…I love my Ghanaian man
Have you met your husband family?
I am married to a senagal man.we have been married for one year & six months now. When we where dating Hse was so nice and treated me like a princess. Things have totally changed now. He trys to minipulate me, keep my friends away by telling me theyre not my friends. Very disrespectful, wanting to control the finances,not letting me no whats in the bank,but wanna ask me for money out my account.want to be in control when i wanna go out. He makes excuses for me to not go out with my lloonng time friends. Has pushed some family away. I truly hate him. They are users. I told him, i want out!!!!! It OVER!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE MY LIFE DON’T MEAN SHIT TO HIM. SIGNED;; MRS. FREEEE!!!!!
I lived with my African partner who was lovely when we dated; manipulative when we lived together. Everytime we had an argument he would threaten to break up the furniture because he bought it.
He would purposely come in late n wake me up when he knew I had to b up at 6am. Got to a point where I hated coming home.
Once he even threw me off the bed By grabbing the matress bbeneath me n let me sleep on the floor. The last straw was when he hit me…that was it…I moved out the nx day.
The one thing I can say was he was loyal n very reliable n generous…nice when he wanted to b…a dick when he wanted to be.
Oh yeah i believe you my ex mali husband controlled the finances. Never let me know what was in the bank dumb ass but i left him.
Well actually being married to an African man, I have to disagree with the stereotypical ideas stated. I believe like anything else, there are good and bad apples, unfortunatly for you, you had a bad experience.. but I find it extremely degrading for you to label all African men.. or which many countries and cultures you have never experienced. I do think that a plus to marrying an African (in my case a cameroonian) is that they are socialized to commit which is a big struggle for tha african american man. If you are looking to settle down and have a family, it may be a great option. My husband has never had an affair nor raised his hand to me. He is very soft spoken and principled, but most importantly he is commited to making our marriage work. Now I will not say our path has been roses, because it has been challenging, but by far in my opinion African men are the best and has the most to offer…. 🙂
I agree, African men are the best!
Cameroonian? I met a Doctor PhD from Cameroon, Now living in Milwaukee WI. Chivalry was the word I gave him. First, we met over the phone. I specifically asked him if he was married? He said NO, but he has 1 child. Thanks to Google, I searched his name and discovered the he was happily married with 4 children in Africa. Then, I confronted him about it. He stated that he did not want to run me away with that information so that’s why he lied to me. He furthermore stated that he is now divorced and 2 of the children were his wife’s, 1 was his biological child, and he other was his Late cousin’s child…….I’m starting to wonder about him. I forgave him and moved forward. It’s this thought that lingers in the back of my mind saying that he is still has a wife and family in Africa and is trying to obtain a Citizenship in order to relocate permanently to America with his African wife and family.
Don’t believe a thing he said.I am marrief to one two from Gambia.He lied to both me and my mom when asked if he was married. He said no but had 1 kid. I later found out that he actually had 3. He then told me the same story of not wanting ti tell me bevause i would not have been with him.They are users.Just waiting fir Green Cards . The wives in Africa are in on it too .Run for the hills
After leaving my daughter’s father (African American), I chose to date only African men. They are the most attentive men I have ever dated. I eventually married my husband almost two years ago. He is from Nigeria and the best husband a woman can ask for. He is takes his time to try to understand the reasons I do the things I do from a cultural viewpoint and I do the same for him. He is not controlling and truth be told, I’m the controlling one. The couple of African men I dated before my husband, there were some warning signs that were loud and clear and I got out of those relationships quickly. As women, we tend to overlook some things while dating and that is something we need to work on regardless of where the man is from. I understand it can be challenging identifying those signs when dating a man who is in the relationship for a green card because they will pour on the charm. My advice is to take it slow and their true character will show. My marriage has not been peaches and cream, but what marriage is? I truly love my husband, and he treats me like a queen.
Is anyone on here African American married to a Ghanaian? Please inbox me.
I was with a Ghanaian for 4 years we are no longer together but we have a 12 year old daughter.I’m married to a Malian man now we’ve been together now 8 years we have two children..I got some stories about them both…
Well, I am sure people are waiting to read your stories!!
I’m also married to a malian man. We’ve been married three years …. it has been a beautiful rollercoaster ride. Would love to keep in contact and share stories. I’m an african american woman in California
Ok Jamila, that will be nice. Let’s chat.
Can u inbox me pls!!
Yes, I am an african american women who is married to a ghanian man. We have been married for over 9 years and it has been a very tragic union. He has cheated on me, lied, and I do not have the level of priority that he gives to his family. He has verbally abused me on several occasions and I feel as though my self confidence has been stripped. I wish I would not have been so irresponsible in accessing our compatibility. Each time, I want to get out, he threatens me. I have always been independent, held a good job, and I am christian loving women. Please, before you jump into this, think about it very carefully. Observe his manners, the way he interacts with his family, and his perceptions/opinions. There are some good African men out there; however, poverty has had an indelible impact and drives many african men to do and act in ways which are treacherous, conniving and selfish. He has been helpful in someways such as fixing things around the house and some maintenance items. However, he has never paid rent, does not intend to, and doesn’t feel as though he should. I have been working and trying to pay bills the best that I can, and it is really hard. I am an attractive black women, and I know that I can do better than the present situation I am in. I do not have much support and his family will join in to take what they can. They remind me of a pack of hyenas, ready for the kill.
Good luck to you, I hope you find a good man. Be careful not to make the same mistake I have made because it is difficult to recover… I hope my experience will help others to make the right decision.
Thanks Renee for your reply & input. Is there anyway we could chat more outside this forum. Anyone else who is AA married to a Ghana, please reply. Thank you.
i am british and i have been married to a ghanian man for 40 years 4 years ago he retired took his pension money and built a house for him and his family left me my 3 children and 5 grand children if you would like to know more i will tell you
That is unconscionable and heartless if your story is true.
Yeah I am AA married to a Ghanaian
Ana inbox me please?
@Truth177 for some reasons I can’t inbox you. Just email me @ email@example.com thanks
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
I have been married to a Ghanian for 28 years and would love to chat with you
Viki Johnson, yes, let’s chat.
That will be nice. How do we chat?
hi vikki i was married 38 years to a ghanian man had 3 children and 5 grandchildren he took his redundancy this year built a house and went there to live if there is anything you want to ask email me email@example.com chris
No but keep me updated, I’ve been talking to a “Ghanaian” he’s very nice.
I’ve been married to a Ghanaian for 4 months now, what’s up?
I’m married to a Ghanaian, I traveled abroad with my mother in law to marry him in Ghana.
I’m married to a Ghanaian, I traveled abroad with my mother in law to marry him there. I must say he’s God sent. I asked the Lord for a Good fearing husband and he did just that. I’m married into a very,very Christian valued family. No worries, if he get out of line Nana & Grandpoppie will beat him lol
I am, still newlyweds
My Facebook is “Ife MeansLove brings Peace”
Someone please help me. I have been dating African men for nearly 8 years. Never been married. Recently I’ve dated a Nigerian and one from Burkina Faso. Very nice men, great manners, great everything. Yet, both of them disappeared from my life in the midst of a relationship. They both had similar doubts regarding me being African American. Others from their culture would share their bad experiences with them. I am not the woman who hurt your friends. I loved both of them wholeheartedly, sadly both relationships ended. I guess they were insecure about me truly loving them? I could not understand that. I loved everything about these two relationships…they both taught me sooo much. Why do they just disappear like that? No women in their homes, I’d been there…they were not secretive etc. Both guys eventually returned, admitting their doubts in my love etc. I am just a Midwest woman who loves her native men, but they never stay with me long enough for marriage…they always move on. I have been dating African men for so long that I do not desire AA men. They just keep breaking my heart. All had green cards already. I am 31, professional, kind hearted, viewed as attractive in the AA culture–not that it should matter, just giving you an idea of the situation. What can I do? Most of these guys are engineers, good families, appear to be very loving.
sorry to hear that but could still give another trial, dont be disheartened. I could connect you to a great guy Seth
Thank you for your reply 🙂 I hardly remember writing this but I know this is my story. Fortunately the guy from B.F. returned and we worked through his doubts. We’re happily married now, wow a lot has changed in just 18 months.
To my beautiful sisters, there are good guys out there still. I’ve never caught my love in a lie since the day I met him, never. He is honest, loyal, loving and overall a wonderful person to everyone.
Thank you Seth, I hope all is well.
You must be desperate with low self esteem…
Sue, I am sorry you feel the need to share such negativity. Hmmm I’m not a little girl and nor do I or any of the women on this forum have low self esteem. Fortunately there are still good people in the world, I am grateful and blessed to have my GOOD husband. No need to prove my life to you….I’m sure it is much more than your little heart could imagine.
So to my good ladies out there. Just be wise, think twice…get to know a person and go with your gut ;-). There are bad apples in every bunch. I never said mine was a bad apple just someone who wanted to give me EVERYTHING but wasn’t quite there. Today nearly two years after meeting ….we have EVERYTHING thanks to God. Do good and good will be done upon you. Never allow yourself to become bitter as little Suzy above.
Lol! Little Suzy? Really? When his green card come in? Silly woman.
Update….Marriage is strong, life is great, no worries. Still 3 years in, I’ve never caught my other half in any lies. Shared bank accounts, 2 good careers. There are way too many people on the continent of Africa to call them all bad. My hubby lived in Europe for 6 years before coming to the states. The issue “disappearing act” I wrote about above was actually him staying away to study to get back into his career. Met a few family members, genuine and good times. Not all is bad out there. As someone said above there are lots of “warning signs” from certain individuals in the beginning. We all know when we have a sketchy African man, let him go….there’s a good one out there for you 🙂
I’m sorry to hear that, but have faith and know everything happens for a reason Chile u probably been dodging bullets through the grace of God!!
African men are ALL CHEATERS and Manipulators.
I have dated this African man from Benin. Wassi was charming and a church going man. We dated for 3 years and though he was going to be the man that I would spend the rest of my life with. But little did i know he was a wolf and sheep clothing.
On the day that we were suppose to take our engagement pictures and have dinner he told me that we needed to talk. I was excited but then my excitement turned into anger in the matter of minutes because he told me that he was married to another woman from his country. And that he had sent for her to come to United States to live with him. I felt numb I could not move, angry and I was heartbroken and had been deceived by this man for 2 years. I was 6 months pregnant at that time.
He begged me not to leave him and that he would try to make things right. After our kids were born they were extremely sick and only lived 1 month and 15 days. I was so hurt and heart broken. A few months later he told me that his job Exon Mobile in Houston, Texas was transferring him to Grenoble, France to work on a business project. He kept his apartment in Houston because it was closer to my job. He then went get an apartment in Grenoble, France. And then a year later he came back to Houston and packed up his apartment and then called me and told me that he could no longer pay for 2 households.
I kept on asking him when was he going to send me a plane ticket and he always had an excuse. Then finally he got tired of me complaining and he came back to Houston to visit more. One time he came back and I was able to crack the code to his phone and I had to brace myself for what is was looking at…. Him and other women. He had a different woman every time he traveled to a different city or country. I read text messages on What’s App, hangout, and Viber apps . (this is how he would mainly communicate with different women)
And the main reason he did not want me in Grenoble, France was because him and his wife was living together, And she was 6 months pregnant. This man was a pathological liar. I could not believe that he would ever deceive me and hurt me so badly. I trusted this man and gave him 3 years of my life. He proclaimed to be a man of God but he was a wolf and sheep clothing. When I broke up with him he told me that His wife Sena Audrey would never leave him and that he could cheat and she would not care because in their culture men are allowed to cheat and have multiple women or wives.
I am glad that God pulled me out of this situation. I have learned my LESSON: NEVER DATE AN AFRICAN MAN AND ALL AFRICAN MEN ARE CHEATERS!!!!!!
Oh my, my heart breaks for you. I just lost my baby a week ago. I’m African woman and am Married to an African. It’s not easy at all because I am 2nd generation African. I’m trying to get divorced now after being together for over 2 years. They ALL CHEAT, ITS APART OF THE CULTURE AND IS ACCEPTED.Inbox me if you like
I’ve been married to a Cameroonianan for 4 years and in my experience it is correct that they cheat and often. I’ve caught my husband several times but instead of crying about it, I ve learned to treat him as he does me. I told him I won’t do anything you haven’t – sure as heck put him in his place
I’m African American and dated a Gambian. Initially he was sweet, outgoing, caring and very helpful. Once we were in a committed relationship he never wanted to go anywhere but sleep on weekends, emotionless and always putting himself first with regard to his work and school schedules, etc and not committing to spending dating time with me. I also didn’t like the fact he would have conversations on the phone in his native language and like another person posted you don’t know if their talking to a woman or what. His family was always priority in addition to the Gambian people in the community having baby naming ceremonies, wedding receptions and other celebrations were always a priority which by the way I was never invited to. I broke up with him because he is emotionless, not romantic at all, lazy and wants to sleep his life away because he worked 40 hours in a week… Like he’s the only one who does that. The killer part is he sees nothing wrong with himself in terms of the relationship and expected me to be happy. Oh I Forgot to mention he lied about having a green card and therefore is an illegal immigrant as well as left out the fact that he had been married twice not once as he previously told me and has two boys in addition to the one I knew he had with his wife. I would say all this would leave a bad enough taste for me to not want to date someone from another country. He’s made up fir about all the experience O need with dating someone from a different cultural background.
I am an African American woman who pursued moving away from dating only AA men. I love my brown-skinned men so I began dating a West African man from Sierra Leone. So far it has been great but I have to get use to his take charge ways in other words controlling ways, jealousy and possessiveness. We do not live together and he knows that I am very independent and respects that. He is constantly asking me if I am seeing other men, but yet I sense that he is seeing another woman. He was married before and ended up divorced after cheating on his ex-wife twice. So my eyes are wide open to his cheating history. I’m from NY and I speak my mind (not loudly) but I let my beliefs and standards be known to him. While we have only been dating for a short time he says he wants to be exclusive, but yet there are some signs of possibly another woman. I told him that as long as he still wants to date other women, I will date other men and he is totally in disagreement of that. I truly care for this beautiful African man, he is something so new and different to me, but I am a strong AA woman and will not put up with anything. I know how to go through life without a man, love myself and be confident and beautiful. I’m tired of AA men and have also dated Jamaican and Haitian men, but the West African man I see now is the best. He treats me like a princess, and he loves cooking which I hear is not traditional for a man to cook in his culture. He love AA women, but when he’s on his phone speaking in his native language I become suspicious that it could be another woman. I am making a conscious choice to forge ahead but I will drop him like a smoking hot rock if he wants to have me and another and another too. He is aware that I feel like two can play that game and I will see other men openly and not hide it as I am not married to anyone. More to come on this situation….
My sister is married to a Ghanian guy, he is a good guy…not romantic but takes care of her totally financially (she has a child from a previous relationship, he has a son in Ghana, and they have 2 biological kids together) . They have been together for almost 10 years and run an independent trucking company. When they met, he didn’t really have much and they built a life together.
Myself, I have been with a guy from Senegal and I am currently dating a guy from Cameroon. The one from Senegal is a chronic liar, a cheater, and very selfish and draining. I believe he hated the fact that I am not dumb. I told myself that most Muslims don’t just “date” so once I got tired of his behavior, I cut him off…he actually didn’t see cheating as a big deal, told me also that he is the only one out of his family that acts this way.
My guy from Cameroon we have not been together long and he treats me like a queen, we hit it off immediately. He is sensual, works hard, and never treats me badly. He is very attached to his friends who are also African and I think that is just because he feels more connected with them as far as relating to each other’s language and everything. So one day out of the week, he is chilling with them.
My niece was married to an African man. He was a good provider. However, he was also an alcoholic and a cheat. I asked him one time why he cheated with this particular woman and he said so she would give him free rides to work. We found out that on one of his visits back to Africa he married an African woman. He was trying to use my niece to try to get enough money to bring her to the US. Needless to say, my niece divorced him as soon as she found out.
Leave African men along, because 97% they just want a green card for free. The African women that lives in America an become U.S. Citizens they always tell the African man go get an “Akata women and marry” akata referred to African Americans people. Then African man marries African Americans woman get his green card and run the fuck off. Women wake up this is 2015 everybody knows what African men’s do to Black Americans women. Why they don’t get their own kind to get green card or why they don’t make a fool out of white women. Because they know if they fuck with a white woman and she finds out she will blast their ass on national television and call INS on their ass. Wake up
DATED a Ghana man it was the beginning of a horrible nightmare he cheated put me down and call me when he needed a favor I was good for that at the beginning of the relationship he was so good call all the time and go our but soon another girl come around he would pick a fight and when he was done with her then he was my friend again. I was so in love with this mAn.
I dated a Ghanaian man for 2 years.he was sooo perfect. Very sweet, caring, loving, very emotional and might I say loving again. I’m 25 years old and from when I was 16 african men alwaaays try to talk to me and my best friend at the time say I would end up marrying one. It’s so funny because I’ve met so many african men and I can honesty say I know obelisk marry one. African American men I don’t date AT ALL. But my Ghanaian I dated for 2 years was perfect. We lived together, went to the gym together, ate together, grocery shoppin laundry together watch movies laugh joke cry etc.he was the best. We had arguments and he had his flaws but everybody does. As woman in general with culture being a non factor we have to stop thinking a man will be perfect. That takes time. For a woman also. He took care of everything paid the rent etc. he just wasn’t romantic enough as far as flowers, and chocolate and all the dumb stuff that really didn’t matter. I started hanging out, spending days out, not answering his calls and just treating him really bad. I didn’t know how much I was in love with him until I discovered another woman started making him happy. It hurt me to my soul because this was my man and I can put on my life this man has never cheated in me in the 2 years we were together. He stop answering my calls, and just being really cold to me. I checked his call log and even called the girl and she told me she was taking him from me. He told me she said that because I called her phone. His friends told menu should leave the house because I would be unhappy. I packed all my belongings and I left and I changed my number. I called him private and he said he still loved me but this was my fault and blah blah but he was still so cold to me. I know in relationships if it’s not going good, and someone new comes along it’s like a new breathe of fresh air. So I said I will leave him alone. True love conquers all. What we had was real. I put my situation in gods hands and asked him to allow his love to find it’s way back to me. Until then im gettin my own issues together . 1 more thing. I was depressed and I let my self go. Always had hips and a nice shape but I started gaining weight. He was very toned and active and I believe that was 25 percent of his turn off. So I agree with the lady who said all african men aren’t the same. They are not perfect but there are some african men that will treat u like queens. I learned they don’t like u to talk back they would like for I to just listen. And voice your opinion later which was hard for me because I was a lil hard core. They live for you to cook and clean. They love for you to work out and look nice. They don’t like to be confronted loud but for u to sit down and communicate with them. They hate attitudes and will leave u without a trace. They love for you to be happy. I know this is long lol
Anyone dating or married to a mauritanian man? Would love to hear your feedback
Hi I’ve dated a Mauritanian man who was a con artist. He came here to get his green card. He used me but I was too smart for him. So he found another black female to marry him. I tried to warn the female but of course she thought that I wanted to get back with him so she went for his games and lies. He also was a big cheater. Liar as well. I did my research on him and found out that he had a wife and children in his country. He is Muslim so he can have more than one wife. I don’t want to share so good luck to them. He still calls me and tries to tell me how he made a mistake with her. He says she gives him lots of problems and he misses me and wants me back. I just laugh because I know what he really came to America to do. I am glad I didn’t get caught up in that mess. The female even calls me when he is cheating or missing. Good lord he was fine! I just don’t have a interest in being with someone who I don’t trust.
Please share any common information to help.
Hello New New,
Could please share more information, I am dating someone, can you tell me how to do research to find out more about him in mauritania.
Happy New Year to all! Hi Shirley. Hope all is well with you. Well, first thing is follow your gut. If something feels off, then it most likely is. I had a good relationship with his sister and frtom our many lengthy conversations, I started putting things in order. A lot came from her but Google provides a lot of info as well. I was also lucky to have some friends that do private investigations and that gave me the extra info I needed. Was so thankful for them. I think if you feel like there is something deeper then you should try to find out what’s going on. Be careful what you wish for. Don’t start something that you aren’t ready to finish. Hope this helps and best of luck to you. The guy I was seeing finally stopped bothering me. Also the wife. Hopefully they are both getting what they deserve.
Happy New Year!! New New, thank you so much for getting back to me. The thing is, is that my gut isn’t giving me much help. When I met him there were absolutely no signs of him being married. Do you think that your private investigation friends could help me? Or perhaps to see if the know anyone in common? I am happy everything has turned out great for you and that lying man and wife so contacting you. If you can please email so we can chat privately at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I’m married to a Mauritanian man inbox me email@example.com
You can inbox me I’m married to a mauritanuan man. I’m Muslim now because we’re marrued. Inbox me firstname.lastname@example.org
Hi, my name is Nik email me I am married to one and am Muslim also. email@example.com
Old post but I’m married to a Mauritanian man. Now I want go get divorced. He does Everyone right, but is too lustful with women. I haven’t witnessed cheating but I know it has. I’m trying to get a divorce now
I am mauritanian man, if you have any insight or helpful tips things to look out for, please share. I need help..
My mistake, I amean dating mauritanian man. How did you find out if he was married back home? Please help me, I don’t want to invest anything that will hurt me.
Please provide an update about your relationship or any warning signs I should look for. I am really scared and need help. Please help.
My first time ever being in love, sex and you name it; was an African from Nigeria. He was 24 and I was 18. I met him in college. At first, he was sweet, caring and friendly; open and romantic. But towards the first year we were together, he started lying, would not call or see me for days at a time, and then he would start asking to borrow money and would never pay it back.
He also would talk sometimes on the phone and have no accent at all! I tried to check him and his background out, to the best of my abilities, and most things checked out, but then some things didn’t; more did than didn’t. Not to forget, this was almost 20 years ago and there wasn’t an abundance of ways to get info like you can now on someone.
Anyways, I was young then, but I realize now that he was trying to use me to get a green card to keep stay in the USA. All the signs were there, but I was too young and dumb to see them. He was talking marriage within the first 3 months after meeting! And he wooed and cooed his way right into my heart, and left me looking dumb one day when he called me and said he was on his way to see me, that he was getting kicked out of the place he was staying and that he was trying to find an apartment near me.
To make a long story short, he called me one day and then it went 2 days without hearing from him, and then I heard from him again and then a full week went by, and finally the weeks turned into months and then a full year! The number to the place he was living was disconnected and then none of his so called family knew where he was.
I was left broken hearted and feeling betrayed and swore off ever dealing with an African man again. Then 12 years later, I met a man from the DRC, like Nigeria, he was a good deal older than me but by me being older and a little bit wiser to the game, I went in with my eyes wide open. This man hung in there while I doubted him, put him on never mind and he waited patiently and steadily while he wined and dined me and held strong to the fact that he cared about me and eventually professed his love.
Let me tell you, he ended up being the best thing that had ever happened to me. He treated me better than any other man has ever treated me. He rained love on me every day that we were together. He gave me money, took me out all the time, I met his friends and family, I met co workers of his. He would come and cut my grass! You name it, he did it for me. Most important, my family loved him!
I had two kids before we met, and he treated them like his own. He was affectionate, loving, caring, sensitive, loyal, and trustworthy. He was also open minded to me being of my african american culture, but he was still proud of his and incorporated some of his customs into his daily life as well. He tried to teach me his language and had me and our small daughter learning it, but then he was took from me too early when two drunk college kids crashed into him from a night of partying almost 2 years ago.
My eyes tear up as I type this, but yes, I agree with the other posters, a lot of african men do cheat, and a lot are liars and wife beaters; but so are a lot of other men of different cultures. You can’t have one bad experience and then doom all other men that come after.
If I would have kept that attitude, the lord would not have blessed me with having met such a wonderful African man the second time around! I thank the lord for the years that I did have with mine. he taught me what love really felt like, what a woman should be treated like and any man that comes after that will be held to my dearly departed’s standards! I refuse to settle for anything less than what he showed me I was supposed to be treated like. (RIP peace baby. I love will always love you!)
But yes ladies, you just have to go in with both eyes open and not just with your heart! There is bad in all cultures!
I have to agree with that lady who said it doesn’t matter the culture. If a man is going to cheat he’s going to cheat. My theory is when a man meet u his live and respect for u will allow him not to stray no matter how beautiful the other woman is. I was living with my bf from Ghana for 2 years. He was the best man I have been with so far and I pray his live find it’s way back to me. We did everything together. Eat, sleep, laugh, watch movies and tv shoes, I watched soccer and basketball with him, we went good shopping, laundry, everything. I know for a fact this man had not cheated on me for the whole 2 years. He had his flaws but he loved me so much. He wast romantic Enough for me as far as buying me flowers, surprising me at work, buying me stuff. All that’s little now that I think about it. And I started talking to other men. I spent the night out without answering his calls and we argued a lot. He told me whatever I’m doing I should stop because I’m not doing the right thing . Well I discovered he had been talking to another woman for 2 months. His love for me has stop and he was just so cruel and cold to me. He’s friends encouraged me to move out and cut all contact off with him. When I moved out I went 2 days without speaking to him and I called him private and he was so cold and cruel to me. I know when things are going wrong in a relationship, talking to someone new is a breath of fresh air. I went thru his call log and called the girl and she said “I’m taking him from you” . She was another girl from Ghana. His best friend ex girlfriend to be exact that’s why he’s living secretly with her. He said she told me that because I kept bothering her. It’s been a month since we talked and he has been calling my sister but she doesn’t answer and his friend said he said he might stop calling. I want him to be happy for now but with so much I went they in my past allowed me to be unhappy with him and I’m a true believer of love and I believe his love will find it’s way back to me. Ghanian men are very very nice and loving. They have big hearts. When I look back I realize how easy it is to make a african man happy. Well the ones who are good. They love cleanliness. They love for you to cool and clean. They love for the woman to eat healthy and keep herself looking good. They do love sex. If your are mad at him don’t confront him but talk to him and tell him what’s wrong and if he done something wrong he will apologize. They don’t like for you to confront them with attitudes yelling and cursing. They HATE drama. My bf put up with me for so long because he loved me that much. I’m in the process of getting myself together but it’s very hard not waking up to him or going to sleep with him or coming home to him or waiting for him to come home. I’m 26 and he’s 36. I know I have not treated him right, but my trust and faith is in god that the next time we meet his love will come back for me. Because he will see the woman that he always wanted in me. So that girl or girls he’s talking to now can enjoy lol. So there you have it. Not all ghanian men are bad. The ones that are good treat there woman like queens.
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You said a comment about an American lack of culture was ignorant but I don’t think you realize how ignorant this sounded. I don’t want to sound or be rude but I am an African woman and I am neither submissize nor docile but because you dated one African from one African nation it seems you decided that he was the prototype or leading example for all African men. Not all husbands beat their wives or girlfriends and if they do, is it just African men, aren’t there also American men who do the same and in either case it’s still wron, no one in any country believes that it is right. Are African men the only men that cheat, no it’s men all over the world and women too. Your study said 70% of men and women it didn’t just say men. also it didn’t say all Africans it said specifically Nigerians. My problem is really that you can’t stereotype a whole entire continent based on one bad experience, a couple fo studies on some people from one area, and maybe some things you heard about other men. All of the nation’s within Africa are different they have their own cultures and histories. Yes they are all Africans but they se also, Ugandans, Kenyans, Tanzanians, Ethiopians, Ghanaians, Nigerians… within that. They can’t be categorized together into one stereotype brought on by a couple of bad experiences with a few people out if a whole continent.
Exactly Brenda. People always try to make Africa be a hub for bad behavior, all the viruses that plague our societies. Which are lies. Our U.S government and media reports and puts out most of these diseases as a form of population control and fear. I have met and plan to marry a very special Ghanaian man with values and loyalties. and beautiful heart Hopefully to become my husband. African men surely can’t be any worse than these american men who also cheat, on the down low which in Africa is not tolerated. ‘One bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch’. Looking forward to my travels to the Mother Land, to get back to the root of my black. I will be delighted to experience the people the culture and the food I hear is so good. But I also want to do my part and be the voice and pick me up toward human rights and child development. Accra here ‘ I ‘ come .
Yes Brenda you are right. Cheaters come in all races and cultures. I just pray my Ghanaian man keeps loving me. he a sweet wonderful, understanding man. And I might add sexy…lol . and know he will be a good lover. I plan to visit him in Accra soon and perform a few shows while I’m there. if things go well I will relocate for the sake of true love…to do my humanitarian duty towards child development and human rights.
I would like to know all I can about Ghanaian men.Even tho I know they all can’t be put in the same category. I’m a singer / songwriter and Author and want to be able to spread my humanitarian efforts into the county..I am in love with a beautiful Ghanaian man who lives in Accra, He’s a footballer. Very understanding sweet and loyal. And loves me completely.I live in the states, and I plan to travel there. We talk of marriage and I want to reside there. Apply my self in some volunteer work as well as work on my music and do some shows and become an asset to the community getting involved in human rights and child development.. I truly believe God has sent me the man of my dreams.Never dreamed he would live a whole world away.But, I look forward to the African experience, culture.food and the people. I feel that Africa has been calling me since I was a young child. And have been saving my virtue for my husband. I want him to be my first and last as far as joining a lasting union. Any advice or comments would be welcome..
I met an Ghanaian man , who I have fallen in love with and plan to marry.
i am married to a ghanian man for 9 years. the good, the bad, and the ugly traits listed in these posts can be found in ANY black American man in the USA. there are millions of single black mothers who can verify it….. be blessed!
I’ve been dating a Nigerian man for almost a year. In the beginning it was great. He still treats me like a queen and does anything I ask. Lately he seems to disappear a lot for days at a time. We don’t live together, but we would often spend all our free time together unless there was a family situation that needed taken care of. My concern is that in the 11 months we’ve been together, I have never met his family. I’ve only been to his house once. We spend all the time at my house. I know he is not using me to get citizenship because he started the process long before we got together. He was also married to an American woman and never pursued his citizenship while married. He’s a gentle loving man, but I really feel he is seeing other women. When I question him of his whereabouts I get no answer. I let him know that I will not tolerate these disappearing acts as he wouldn’t tolerate it from me. I really do love him, but am starting to feel that I’d be better off without the frustration and aggravation of late. I don’t know maybe is the cultural difference, but I really do enjoy being with him. He’s smart loving and very affectionate when we’re together. Ugh!! This is a tough decision. While I’m writing this he has disappeared again…this time for 6 days. I basically sent him a text telling him how angry I was and how I’m sick of this. Still have yet to receive a response to this day. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi, if I were you I would run! Disappearing for days at a time and him not getting in touch with you is beyond questionable, it’s cause for letting him go no matter the reason. You deserve more respect as someone he’s in a relationship with. In addition not meeting his family is a sign he hides aspects of his life I say this because I was in a relationship with a Gambian man who did the same thing. As dating progressed I find out he was not only married once but twice, had two additional kids instead of just the one he told me about and lied about having his fee card through his previous marriages.
when he disappears pack your things and disappear too. When he come back leave him shocked.
I recently began conversing with a Nigerian gentleman that I met online, and during our first conversation, he volunteers the information of not being married or having any children. Due to having dated a Nigerian man previously, I was immediately urged to find out all that I could about him. His story seemed way too good to be true so I researched him and found out that he IS married to a beautiful woman who still resides in Africa. We have not had sex and after finding this out, I never will. The funny thing about this experience is that it happened to me once before. While in college, I met a young man who was serving in the military at the time, and he was the perfect gentleman. He never introduced me to his mother, but I met quite a bit of his other relatives. He talked of marriage and children…even tried to impregnate me! Then one day, I found photos of him and another young woman and inquired about who she was. He told me she was his sister (whom he never mentioned). I knew then and there I had to dig a little deeper, only to find out she was his wife. Needless to say I was hurt, but immediately ended things with him. He begged for months for forgiveness but I couldn’t be in a relationship as such. Is that a common thing for African men to do? Are american women simply something to do? I’m asking out of true concern because this makes the second time this has happened.
I was in a relationship with a Gambian man and I’m from the US. He didn’t tell me until six months after I had his child that he had not only been married once but twice and had an additional two children from his first marriage. He totally kept that a secret the whole time, in addition he lied about having a green card and diidnt come clean until after I had the baby. He wasn’t able to obtain the green card from either of the first two marriages needless to say I broke off the engagement. No use in marrying a deceitful liar and be miserable.
I can only speak for Southern Africa, but women were not treated as equals. I lived there for 2 years and it was far too common to see men cheat, abuse, and control women. This happens in the States too, but by men we label as abusive. In Southern Africa it happened in much greater frequency and was a societal norm. And just because it was culture or tradition, doesn’t mean the women were happy by it. Quite the contrary from my experience.
African American women… hear me clearly, as I’m only going to say this once. DO NOT, and I mean DO NOT marry or get involved with an African man. That’s whether he’s from nigeria, cameroon, mali, sudan,.. MOST are after their green card. MOST have families back home. If you do not meet the parents within the year, that means that they are married. THE MOTHER of African men, rule. African mothers do not want their sons or daughters to marry American. No matter what they say, don’t marry an African man. Definitely do not have babies by them. The niceness only lasts as long as the time it takes to get from you what they REALLY want. Know for a certainty, African men ALWAYS want [or need] something. Okay, you’ve been warned.
Thank you for the insight! I have broken things off with him and blocked all forms of contact.
I am truly saddened by the pure lack of education I see in this thread. I am DEEPLY offended by the sheer ignorance stated by some of the participants on this site. I am Ghanaian man, and yes some of my brothers are not decent in their approach to life, and some are wreck-less with their treatment of women. I have white friends, black friends and Indian too, all have done things they are not proud of, but does this make them evil and not worthy of marriage? I have white best friends who have also cheated, will you write the same about them?
This unfortunate moral dilemma spans across all races, colors, creeds and even genders. @TahariChic – yes of course poor and desperate men seeking a better life want something that is obvious. I cannot believe that any of you seemingly educated women did not have the foresight to be cautious with your hearts (whatever the race of man you got involved with).
Now let’s look at this from the point of view of the people on the other side. Whilst you all have the FREEDOM to vote, the FREEDOM of expression, the FREEDOM from REPRESSION and from TYRANNY, my brothers in Africa do not. You all mostly know where your next meal is coming from; try not knowing any of this? Now whilst I know this is not all African men, and some of us have been very fortunate to be educated in foreign countries – this is mostly the norm. Please understand 245 years of SLAVERY, not even being allowed to walk on the same pavement as your fellow human being, can you fathom what that was truly like? This is still the hangover we suffer in this day and age, yes before you say it slavery is over but the stigma still remains. Capitalism and the promotion of a life without consequence have led us all to these troubling times. Family values are long gone; instead Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj are the order of the day. How many of you woman are true Ladies in the old school sense?
Now let me ask all of you a question – How many of you AA ladies and ladies have been back to the Motherland? Maybe you should visit the countries and educate yourselves before passing judgment or making horrible sweeping statements.
I am appalled for those who have been hurt and those who faced the situations they have, it still does not give way to the generalizations in this thread. I urge you all to look at the person not the race and country he/she comes form as a mark of their character.
I’ve recently start conversing with a guy I met online . He is nigerian and he us planning to visit the states in June and that’s when we will meet .he hadn’t asked me for anything but a note to give to the embassy so that he can come to the USA. Do you think thus could be a scam? How are nigerian men specifically yoruba ? Thanks
Honey, it’s a scam. He careful, Nigerians will do whatever it takes to get away from Nigeria good luck tho
I don’t know if these distinctions help us. Every forum I visit on this matter always degenerates into a name calling fiasco…. I am Malawian and I have seen enough African men destroy the women they claimed to love, and I have also seen many men live up to their promises of commitment, respect and partnership. I also have several American friends and some of them are good men and others are bad. The key is for each one to look carefully at the evidence and select a good partner. Being good or bad has nothing to do with being American or African. Some people are bad and others are good. I hope we can find the good ones….
She date ONE African, and now most africans are unfaithful. Go fuck yourself. Also, let’s let the stats talk. Look at just how low divorce rates are in africa.
Oh! And the only reason why you see this trend is 1. you already were trying to excuse the frivolity of AA men 3. You ain’t shit yourself, so you can’t expect to attract a quality man (see the law of attraction). 4. Your friends ain’t shit either, so ofc they’re going to ”verify” your observation. Just ask any racist white man, and he’ll tell you that every of his friend agrees that Black people ain’t shit. Guess that makes it true, right ?
Oh! And AA women are known to go after African men only when they’re desperate and been rejected by Whites and AA’s, so don’t expect to attract any good man (from any race) with your bitter, thirsty, can’t keep her values in check, Thot ass.
Are you really trying to question the intelligence of women that are postings their experiences and then ask do we understand what slavery asks racism is like? Do you even know what The United states of America is bro? Gtfoh!
Oh man, could I relate! Sounds like we dated the same guy. I’m an American that lived in Southern Africa for several years and have a child with my ex. I left him in November and moved back home… Abuse… Too many lies… And then the side chick. What is add is that women are treated like second class citizens over there and add to that control is THE #1 behavioral trait of abusive men. African men do not respect women, plain and simple. Thanks for your article, I am still healing so it’s nice to know I’m understood.
This is very interesting and I will be back to share my story. I see a lot of similarity to my situation.
I am a AA woman that’s been involved with a Liberian man for a few years. I met him 3 years ago and it was love at first site but we both were in relationships and only texted. Not with out lack of him trying to see me all the time but I wasn’t going to cheat on my then boyfriend. After I got out of my relationship, I agreed to see him, that was 2yrs after we’d met and was only texting! He always complained that he wasn’t happy with his girlfriend. Said she had two small kids by other relationships, and that all she did was cook African food for him, nothing else . He said he didn’t want to leave her with her kids alone and he was trying to get her mother over from Africa before he left her. So I believed him, I became the other woman, he would bring me over when she left for work. He would say to me on occasions his phone was dead, charger broke, phone broke, messages deleted by mistake,etc. I thought he loved me and I him, it’s the only reason I put up with him. He even said he wanted a baby with me. He was so sweet to me. Still is. We had sex a total of 5 times since I’ve met him , because I just felt bad about him still living with his woman. And never leaving her. I don’t even know, he may be married to her and their his kids. He says he has one child in Africa that is being raised by his mom. Now that I’m actually typing these words, it all sounds so stupid. The point of my comment was to ask you guys if I should continue to wait. Technically I’ve waited 3 years with his same stories….. no charger, he doesn’t want his live in “girlfriend”, he wants me, he can’t leave her and her kids all alone not yet….he’s sleeping when he’s not working…..ALWAYS either sleeping or working. But I think I answered my own question. I thought I was blessed with this true love thing and we would end up happily ever after with my pure African king in the end, but it’s turned into me just being alone and still waiting while he try not to hurt HER. but what about me? I wish I never met him at all. . Smh
Hello all, I am an AA woman married to an African male from Burkina Faso. We’ve only been married a year but we’re very very happy. I will say that prior to marrying him I had been dating African men only for about 10 years. 2-3 very serious relationships but never a marriage before. They were all positive experiences as well. To my knowledge I have always been the first American girlfriend and definitely the first black…which I find odd. Even my husband’s ex is Caucasian. Not sure what that’s about (I am a dark-skinned kinky hair beautiful black woman :). I really admire my native African brothers and sisters…so wise, so beautiful, so brilliant. I just wanted to say there are still good one’s out there! I’ve met quite a few who I would still consider friends if I were not married. Hence my long period of dating in the African culture likely assisted in some of our now similar characteristics. I believe that’s a lot of why “it works for me.” I love all of our people of color. Keep your head up ladies, sorry Mr. Wrong did not treat you well. You are a queen, he’s just not your King. I love my African husband…I wouldn’t have it any other way! AA men are cool too, but I am detached from them socially and I do not quite understand them sometimes. I hope you all have better experiences in the near future. My African sisters…we love you and could learn a lot from you for our blood is diluted and not as pure. Let’s stick together!
Oh I forgot to mention that in his culture they are allowed to marry and have children with relatives. Incest central! His wife looks just like him. Also his sister is his cousin as well. Don’t know if that is just his family. Regardless it’s weird and I thank God I found out before it was me.
Very very true, it s apart of their culture. I’m married now to a mauritanuan
Send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org
I know this is an old post, but he sounds just like my bf. Was he..located in Maryland and now NY by any chance??
I am sorry, I can’t tell if these responses are coming through. I would like to connect so, because it is possible we dating the same man.
Hey lady! You never got back to me since I last emailed you. Small world isn’t it? I don’t know if she was yuio was replying to me or you. One thing is my situation was in NY. Hope all is well!
Hi, i got an email notification. Cant find any posts from you on here, but If you would like to connect feel free to email me at email@example.com.
Hi I’m not sure if this was for me but I’m no longer involved with the guy I was dating. Truth is he is in NY now. Manhattan or the Bronx. This is getting creepy! Would love to find out if this is the same guy though. Email me, I’ll send you a picture. firstname.lastname@example.org
Well???? Was it lol
Hi, I’m a 24-year old European woman. Does anyone have experience with men from Sierra Leone? I’ve been dating a guy from Sierra Leone for a month now. I used to date another man from Sierra Leone, but that relationship didn’t work out. I couldn’t handle a guy telling me when to go to sleep and when to wake up. It made me feel like I lost my independence. Until now this guy treats me really good but I’m a bit worried he will not always be faithful to me. I know he always had good long relationships but when his last girlfriend went abroad for a year he started cheating on her. I’m really afraid this relationship won’t work out, I love him with my whole heart. He’s the first african men I’ve told my parents about. My parents are a little bit racist but I feel like he is worth fighting for.
I’m a professional AA woman from NYC who has lived in South Africa for three years and I don’t do the this culture is better than that culture thing, especially with the black diaspora. But to say there are not real differences is to be naive and/or dishonest. I’ve lived and traveled to a combined 24 countries and I tell my female friends that women in all of these places were complaining about the same thing when it comes to men. It’s the same song all over the world HOWEVER there are differences in HOW it’s done. Here’s what I’ve come to learn from my experiences (and because South Africa is very diverse I’ve gotten to date SAs, Congo,and Nigerian)….1. The word “love” carries big weight to Americans, but African men toss it out like saying hello. Lol. I’ve heard that in many African languages there is no word for Love in the exact way that Americans use it so they’ll say it knowing its gets us going. Me and my friends got caught up in that at first because if AA men say that it’s a big deal. We were all in love until we got hip. 2. I demand respect from anybody who is in my company and African men have seemed to give it cause I expect it. Sure, a couple of them turned out to have a woman already, but I can’t say any if them mistreated or were outright bad to me. 3. Overall, my experiences have been more positive than negative. Sure, they’re a bit more aggressive and patriarchal than AA men, but if I go with the flow I enjoy it. Especially when you’re used to dealing with these non chivalrous, wacky NYC men. Ha. 4. This is HUGE and the main reason why I don’t think I’ll marry an African man, though I’m open to it….white women. I have NEVER in my life seen men so infatuated with white women as African men….or rather, the African men in SA (I’m trying to be p.c. here, but really I think it’s a continent thing). Mind you, I have no anti-interracial sentiment as I also date outside my race. But I swear it’s like kryptonite for them…you can be a black Ms. Universe and will get kicked to the side for a fat, old, ugly German woman. it’s the weirdest thing, like to say no to a white woman is like saying no to air. Haaa. I can get with a man who dates women he likes no matter the race, but I can’t get with somebody who is over infatuated to the point of blindness. It’s actually rather sad, especially when they try to use the “race doesn’t matter” scthick because that’s more easy to deal with than recognizing that inside they really think whiteness is superior to blackness….and for this I give AA men a little more dap. If you’re gonna find a man in 2015 who consciously likes and prefers black women, no shade to white women, it’ll probably be an AA man. Right now, I’m dating a Congolese man…those are a handsome group of men.
LOL, I had to respond… I agree with so many of your points. I’m a white American who was living in Swaziland and was in a relationship with a Swazi man for three years. We have a child together, but he turned out to be a liar, cheater, and abuser. You are right though, white women are like gold. I could only guess as to why, but I can’t even tell you how many times my boyfriend’s friends either tried to get with me or said “hook me up with one of your white sisters… I’ve always wanted to be with a white woman” Funny, but very annoying after a while. I love African men as well, and they are good for some fun but generally speaking I don’t think they are husband material as we see it in America… they are laid back in a way that is so great compared to Americans and their sense of humor is completely charming and hysterical. BUT, and here’s where I disagree with you… it is patriarchal, which bottom line means women are not equals and are not treated as such. There are great African men, but they have been socialized with a different set of eyes than American men. Abuse and infidelity, although not at the hands of all African men, is still MUCH HIGHER compared to American men. (Actually, in my social circle I have yet to meet a Swazi man that has not cheated.) You say men were not mistreating you, but the fact that they hid girlfriends and wives means that they were dishonest and and in essence not treating you with the respect you deserve.
Hi, I agree. I was dating a south African man that cheated on me with his son’s mom who is white. She can walk all over him and call him the n word and he begs for her to be with him. All of his friends wives are white. I mean all 7 of them. All married white and parades them in public like a trophy wife. My ex’s friends were surprised to know my ex was dating me because I am AA woman. It’s sad indeed and looks like self hate.
I can agree that dishonesty is a form of abuse, but because I was nowhere deep in with these guys and there was no emotional attachment, their lies had no real impact on me. It became kind of a game to me because I wasn’t invested and when I’d find out one of their lies it would just become a topic of laughter for me and my friends. Yes, I said they are more patriarchal than American men. Totally true! I hope you really gave it to these men when they would come at you with that white exoticism. I find that white women contribute to the problem. Their entitlement would often blind them to the b.s. that drives African men to them. I would tell my white girlfriends to be careful and they’d have their heads in the clouds, like “who me? why would a man use ME?” Ha. Sometimes you gotta say no. But I’ve learned that nobody likes to give up their power. They’d be with some broke township dudes who Black women would be looking at like, really?? If it was a white man in that same dynamic he would get no play by those same white women. But hey, it’s a free world. We all have the right to choose.
Hmmm, interesting response that just proves how interesting & complicated race issues really are and how we all bring different attitudes based on our life experiences. I can understand why African men would like foreigners (or white foreigners), just in the same way I found African men to be “exotic” compared to American men. I don’t feel it’s my place to lecture someone on who they are attracted to, especially considering how powerful socialization really is. If we’re really going there, how about all the white men in the USA who prefer skinny chicks? Let’s just say it was not a walk in the park in the love dept for this plus sized white lady. On some level I understand why “white exoticism” would annoy you, but it seems unfair to place the blame on white ladies and/or calling them entitled. My ex was not a broke township dude, but if he was why would any one judge that? It’s my decision to make and my lesson to learn. I got played plain and simple… there is no doubt there… but that was because I was naive (and maybe a tad stupid). Unfortunately, now I join the ranks of jaded women who have been there done that. Bottom line, though… too many of my African female friends (and now me) have been abused by African men and going through this experience reminded me how lucky I am to be an American. Like you said, this happens EVERYWHERE… same stories, different countries… and it’s sad. The USA still has a long way to go, but gender equality in the States is fabulous in comparison.
Very good and emotional stories. What I have learnt is please do your home work before you get a shock of your life. Trust me always sit back and pretend to do not know what is going on and observe, especially when he has his guard down. Ok. Good luck and help us provide sanitary pads to young girls by shopping with a purpose or donate at konzar.com, and please like our Facebook page.Thanks.
I am an African-American woman from Brooklyn, married to a Nigerian man from Lagos. He is 15 years older than me. We dated for 2 years and have been married for 2 years. He is a strong man, with a kingly presence. And he treats me like a queen. There has never been a time when he hasn’t answered his phone in front of me, when he has disrespected me, or when he has treated me in an unkind way. I have never seen any sign of another woman. He is super respectful at all times. He is already a citizen, so he doesn’t need me for that. He helps me with my business and I help him with his. We are best friends. He is bossy sometimes, so am I, but he doesn’t throw tantrums if I don’t listen to him. He is gentle with me. He is affectionate. He has a brilliant mind. He is giving and forgiving. He cooks for me. He cleans way more than I do. He prays with me and for me. He makes it easy for me to stay in love with him.
I married a ghanaian man. I don’t know if I can say he treat me good. I mean we have fun together but I don’t like the way his eyes roam. Doing our dating, I have sent him over $5000. Now we married he wants me to pay for a car and apartment in ghana.he also wants me to stay in Ghana too. But my issue is why should I pay for everything? He’s military. He says he take care of his family. Well what about me! I love him but enough. I have not done any paperwork to bring him to America yet. Now I’m thinking about anulling this marriage. My gut is not agreeing with my heart. I don’t know. I’m hoping the baggage of old relationships is not pouring into this one. Or should I be worried?
Most African countries accept polygamy marrying two or more wives in Kenya it is quite common and we see it as normal,which might sound strange to Americans who will say that African men cheat,Though not all African men will agree with polygamy,All in all if you like strong, family oriented and hardworking men go for the African
I disagree. I am American and lived in a polygamist country in southern Africa. So technically, yes, men are legally allowed to have a second wife, but it’s supposed to be approved by the first wife. And although its a polygamist society, its a tradition that is dying out with newer generations. In my circle, I did not know any men in their 20s, 30s, or 40s that had multiple wives in the suburban area I lived. Many marriages are now “white weddings” and not traditional weddings. And there’s a difference between being in a polygamist marriage compared to being in a monogamous marriage and the husbands are cheating in secret. The amount of cheating I saw was ridiculous. I would hazard a guess that easily 90% of men cheated on their wives. This caused a lot of pain with the African women I was close with. Just because it’s a polygamist society does NOT mean African men can screw whoever they want… and that’s what I saw during my time there. Labeling it a polygamist society is an excuse because the culture is changing. If you are agree to monogamy, it’s cheating.
I met a Ghanian 2 1/2 years ago online; he wants me to come visit him there, see that everything he is telling me is the truth, and his mother wants to hold my hand. i don’t know what to do.
Its against the law in Ghana except for certain cultures.
I met a Ghanian man 2 1/2 years ago on a pen pals site. He wants to marry a white woman, and that would be me, since he met me and chose me over an Australian woman he had also met online. (I know for a fact that he has blocked her so she can’t contact him) He has asked me for money a couple times (no amount specified), and I sent him very small amounts ($50.00), He knew I felt uncomfortable sending money so he said he would never ask again, and he hasn’t. Right now he is pressuring me to come to Ghana and meet him and his family; his mother wants to hold my hand. He says I will see that everything he has told me is the truth about where he lives, his business he owns, his daughter, mother and sisters. He wants to come to America later and we can marry here. We used to skype sometimes but lately we just chat on Facebook; that might be b/c he knows I’m shy on skype ( and he has never pressured me to use my cam if I don’t want to). He has very long dreadlocks down to his tush, and is in great shape. He says his late father was a rasterfari who married a local woman. What I have observed about him is that he will apologize whenever needed; is very kind and loves animals; seems pretty honest; volunteers as a youth organizer for a non-governmental group to make the government better (he is very proud of this); is very masculine and has a sort of take charge attitude which is no doubt taught in their culture–a man takes care of a woman-type thing; he comes online every evening of his to chat with me (whether I show up or not), so it appears he isn’t with another woman there; and he says he wants to be with me forever and not marry another woman (he’s a Christian Raster, although some of his friends are Muslims). I worry that he is just going after a visa, and am not enthused about a long trip overseas and especially in getting a bunch of immunisations to prepare for the trip since I’m leery of those things anymore; I’m holistic and my son is autistic. He will not come here at this time, saying that for him to get a visa is too difficult. I’m not sure what to do.
Africain men are controlling. They have no.respect with their girl friend or spouse. They think.you should accept their cheating with other woman . And say yes and okay to everything.
To get what you want they are so devisse
Well now he wants to try his hand at the visa lottery since I have not come to Ghana to meet him. He says he will try everything he can to come here….
I had a Togo Africa man pretending to be in love with me wanting to get married and have children after only a few days I caught on rtf away and to him I knew what he was up to he insisted that I was wrong about him but I’m NO fool ! He continued to call leaving messages on day I decided to answer he really had a script going put what was supposed to be his mother and brother on the phone as if it would help as I listen to them I was dying laughing inside I’m disbelief of the BS they were saying then they put him back on the phone and he said see my family only wants what’s beat for us they only want our happiness I love you I wish to marry we can marry here I’m not trying to get a green card I only want to marry you and make you the best husband and you my wife so I continued to listen to the carp and asked what would I need to do he said I need to send $500 $250 to hold our spot for the marriage $250 for the hall get myself a round trip ticket and a one way ticket for him to return with me another $500 for our hotel room for a week because we can stay for a week and I can spend time with his family his family will supply the food and drink for after the wedding but I can pay the other $500 balance for the wedding and hall the day of the wedding and we’ll need another $2500 for his visa and passport please I love you I will make you the best husband I will work hard and make you happy I wish to make you my wife them he asked if I was going to buy our wedding rings before or after I get there I told him I’ll wait till I get there so we can pick them out together ok and I’ll send the money Monday he sent me what was supposed to be his brothers information and on Monday which was 2 days later he called and called I let my real sister answer my phone and talk to him he was furious and hung up on her but called back later with more BS saying my sister had no right to question him she is disrespectful and need to apologize for her disrespect his family will never question or talk to me without his permission it’s a matter of respect and I’m still dying laughing inside while he’s still trying these people are a joke I thought Jamaicans were bad I’ll take one of them in a heartbeat before I even consider an African I’ve had to change my# he never gave up SMH Now there’s one from Ghana on the same BS can’t be friends and just exchange history knowledge or anything they pretend well just not that well I’m deleting my Facebook friends so fast especially the ones from Africa
Girl!!! Run with the quickness, because those African men’s are bad. Their own African women will not give them green card because they know they will run off. Don’t get me wrong I know couple of good African men married to African American women and white women treat them like gold. Majority are damn right crooks, spread the word for no more innocent women are hurt from these bastards.
You are right. I am an African woman with a citizenship and I will never marry or date an African man without papers. My stupid cousin who later became citizen, married twice ( 2 senegalese men) that gave her kids and abandoned her the moment they received their green card, hell they didn’t even wait around for the citizenship lol. Plus like someone mentioned above, polygamy is accepted in most African countries so the typical African men will cheat night and day without remorse because it is ingrained in their brains that having many women is the norm. I married a lying, cheating African guy but not anymore. He became a US citizen before we got married. He used to be so jealous of my six figures income but continue cheating on me with low class whores. I divorced his ass. Now of course, since most African men are opportunists he wants me back because he is broke. Over my dead body . I dated black American men before my husband and they treated me like a queen whereas the African bastard took me for granted because I am an African like him. I will never date, marry, or entertain an African man , no thank you 🙂
Interesting read from all contributors but Africa is a huge continent of one billion people steeped in traditions and cultures of over one thousand ethnic groups. Southern Africa is least developed probably due to the the prolonged effects of apartheid- there is a knock on effect on East Africa too with an obfuscating laid back or lack of drive mentality but West Africans and North Africans are closer to European culture – have more education and drive as well as better economic opportunities. The Western Africans especially Nigerians do not trip over white women, they have their other issues like breathing lies like air. But if you’re circumspect you’d fine great guys- from great families and well educated if you can manage their ego. Those do not always need a woman for papers, they are rich back home and are in America for higher education. They have rich family traditions and won’t tolerate any woman that curses or has baby daddy issues or ghetto mentality they will always want a woman that they can be proud to introduce to their parents who exercise reasonable controls. Most African parents have strong opinions about their children’s future partners Family is very important in Africa. Those won’t marry you in America at the court with few witnesses. Their marriages are big ceremonies – well planned and expensive -they usually are too proud to ask a woman for any thing, they provide sufficiently for the family but behave like kings.My two cents comments
Whatever. Still it does not matter. You can be very intelligent with higher education and come from a good family. African men rich (rich or poor) and their families will still look down on you and rather the men marry their own women. They, African men, will still use an american woman regardless…Because their hearts are not pure.
Some times I am amazed at what goes on here, especially some of the blanket statements some people make. I am the publisher and editor in chief of this newspaper. I have known my wife, an African-American, for 47 years, and we have been married for 45 years. We have two male children and 4 grandchildren. She is a highly educated woman and retired as a school principal. She is totally immersed in my culture, Igbo, and my folks prefer to go to her than come to me.
I leave you to make your own judgment.
I traveled abroad with my mother in law to Ghana to marry my husband. I’m married into a very,very Christian valued family. If he gets out of line Nana will kick him lol. He told his mom to choose his wife, with her being a prophet, and 3 weeks of the spirit coming to get about me…yeah he’s God sent… I ask God a long time ago for a God fearing husband, and he did that. So not all African men are the same. I thank God for his tender grace & mercy.
African men are good guys, I’m married to a Ghanaian.I traveled abroad with his mother to Ghana. I must say I’m married into a very,very, strong valued Christian family, and I got what I asked the Lord for. Going to Ghana I learned a lot, especially about having patience lol. Just know folks, its really a virtue
Their good people, just way different than AA men here. I’m married to a Ghanaian & if I’m not happy, he’s not happy..that worries him
Their good people, I traveled abroad with my mother in law to Ghana to marry her son.
I traveled abroad with my mother in law to marry her son in Ghana. Him and his family are very,very,strong valued Christians. I got what I ask the Lord for.
I just wanted to know because I just got in a relationship with a guy from africa
I’m upset with my Ghanaian husband right now,& it seems to turn him on. We’re newlyweds so I traveled abroad from the state of N.C. with my mother in law to Accra to marry him in July. Just know 2 1/2 weeks being there wasn’t enough time, not for me lol. African men I must say are very different from AA men. They make great husband, be willing to submit and you’ll make it.
Sorry for so many same replies, my phone was acting up.
There is a genetic predisposition, to cheating , violence ,, dealing with his siblings , who will not hesitate to fight with their brothers wife,. Polygamy is prevalent , but there are some committed marriages. In terms of percentages, I do not know, but it is worth doing a library type research , or an emperical research in the field.
Some of these predispositions are a consequence of lack of nurturing , alcoholism and inferioritity complex .
Additionally, there are multifaceted difficulties and other peculiar conflicts associated with having a relationship with an African man. I believe that the reasons they bring women to their homes when the wife is away , is a dynamic that occurs because of a lack of commitment . I have not done any research on this area , but most African men are predisposed to cheating and violence. They are socialized to have these traits, because of their family of origin .
First you say they have a genetic predisposition to cheating and violence, then at the end you say they are socialized to have these traits. These are mainly your opinions and are not remaining consistent.
First you say there is a genetic predisposition, then finally you claim they are socialized to have these traits. Sounds like OPINIONS to me
Caroline, it is sad to read such vitriol from such an educated woman against African men and to be a marriage arbiter is the height of irresponsibility on your part, as it is obvious you can never be impartial. Don’t attribute your experience to others. African men are very responsible husbands, who cherish their families and have happy households. This doesn’t mean that there are not bad apples in a basket. You are too angry about what could have happened to you in the past.
Yes and african women put up too much with african men…african husbands are very responsible??
Gee,I wonder why there are so many single mothers here…
To deny the fact that most African men from Africa cannot make good husbands s ironic . Some African men from Africa have a long way to go . They do not understand the true meaning of marriage , due to not being matured .
Onyeani , you might not be conversant with recent information in Texas and other states . There is always a tendency to deny the truth about some African men making bad husbands.
It is important to let others know. We must not paint a rosy picture of African men from Africa making good husbands . I understand , there are bad apples , however , the high numbers speak volumes.
To start personalizing information is the height of lack of respect . To suggest that one is irresponsible is discourteous .
Some West African men are very dangerous to women and children . They are worst than any violence one can think of . They were never wired to get married in the first place.
It is a tragedy to the world that by clandestine means they got married. There are many violent activities , a zoo mentality , and a dismal failure to recognize the dignity of human life.in their homes. They literally want to eat their cake and have it. They commit violent acts and project it to the woman. They are pathological liars, who make premeditated plans to deceive others who do not understand their modus operandi . They are extremely jealoused of a woman who is highly educated , if they cannot get her money they start manufacturing stories of mental illness , if the mental illness conspiracy does not work they victimize her by manufacturing stories, to destroy and claim what ever assets she owns in the United States or overseas .
These detrimental campaign to destroy her is never understood because it is planned for years with his siblings and himself . The West African man will portray himself as being the best husband , the most caring to authorities, but , the key is asking about his history of abuse , assaults , violence , to women and children in the past. The West African husband always leaves a trail of violent evidence in every city he resided in. He is power driven and consistently will contact police officers in every city he resided. The best approach is to always contact the previous police departments to review the avalanche of violent acts . The acts of assault , arrest , perpetrated on the woman and the children who reside with him. He is very manipulative , but city police officials with experience always understands his tactics, it is difficult for a woman who weighs a hundred pounds to be violent against a man who is three hundred pounds and taller. . It is difficult for any West African man to be in harms way with a very skinny woman, the West African man is physically stronger, taller and weighs more than the woman. The West African man always manipulates police officers in the the suburbs , but it is difficult to manipulate officials who have knowledge of the Ewondu husband of West Africa by virtue of dealing with similar cases.
Finally, it is important to never beleive a West African husband , who identified himself as being victimized by his wife because in many instances , he is interested in her money, have erectile dysfunction, believes he is better than her, have several wives in West Africa, very jealoused of her, , wants to be in control because of Low self esteem, and have a history of alcoholism and abandonment , which is a serious mental health issue. It will be nice to ask questions about ” DUI convictions, “, it will serve as a primary focus of the officers assessment,
In a nut shell, these West African men , have to be removed from the homes even if they made the call, they are very familiar with the system and will destroy the woman by lies, manufacturing of stories , self inflicting of wounds, destruction of property to make beleive he is in harms way. The goal is to ruin the woman and claim every asset she owns, including her personal car, which is a source of pain for the West Afticsn man. The children are removed from the country if they are younger to hurt the woman, because of a feeling of ownership, which is very dangerous. It is always good to review some literature about the Ewondu husband of West Africa. The Ewondu husband is the West African husband. These countries have very common boundaries, therefore there is no difference., All West African people share a common ancestry. The behavior , and a lack of respect and responsibility found in these husbands. are very similar. Some Nigerian men will argue that they are not Ewondo men,, but Caneroon and Nigeria , were one country in the past, These countries share a common boundary. It is the same country,, and most of the men are the same. They hate women who are better than them. They are interested in her assets , because they do not want to work for an employer. They have no pension it health benefits.
You could contact me at Infrmation @ HappyFamily Love . Com, or you could visit out website at HappyFamilyLove. Com. Our phone numbers are (862) 930 8019.
Wow, talk about stereotyping! Even if there is a problem with many men there, I cannot believe every single one of them is trouble, any more than I can believe that every single wife is slim—plenty of those women are plump!
She never said every single one of them she meant many of them..
She said some of them not ALL OF THEM,just like you said most of these women are plump not thin I could easily said most of these men are exactly what she described.
She said some of them not ALL OF THEM just as you said you cannot believe that every single wife is slim,we also don’t believe that every single husband are not what she described…
What Caroline Okechi says is very true. It is extremely difficult for women from outside Africa, who are only accustomed to seeing the ‘sweet’ side of African men, to understand just how violent they can be. East African men (Kenya, Ethiopia, Uganda, Tanzania, Somalia, Eritrea) tend to harbor the same violent tendencies, but hide them very well under a very laid-back attitude. In the more economically prosperous nations of Africa like Kenya, men in the cities adopt Christianity and Western mannerisms and ways of speaking to seem like they no longer follow the ‘African’ way of doing marriage.
It is not just American or European women who are deceived by this act, even upwardly mobile African women in Nairobi fall for it. Once the woman is married, the man’s true colors start to come out. A young Kenyan member of Parliament declared in 2015 in Parliament that “An African wife should expect to be a co-wife as soon as she is married”. This was said by a young man who was educated in the West and speaks like an Englishman! For the record, he has several wives and concubines himself- and none of the wives knew about each other when they individually chose to marry him!
I am not saying that all African or Kenyan men are rotten to the core- but the reality is that a HUGE number of them come from polygamous homes where their mothers and step-mothers were mistreated and beaten like children on a regular basis and so go on create the same situations in their own homes.
This reality has created serious problems in cities like Nairobi, where upwardly mobile African Kenyan women who now recognize their worth and refuse to be subjected to hell on earth in the name of marriage to their men, are now opting to marry (in their late 30s or even 40s) old or middle-aged White men! Imagine WHAT kind of desperation would push a young and beautiful educated woman to do a thing like that!!
Kenyan has an EPIDEMIC of single women because their men just will not grow up and take responsibility for their own actions! As you can imagine, the fascination with Whites from Europe among marriageable Kenyan women has brought a severe backlash from Kenyan men who label their women as ‘gold-diggers’ or ‘whores’! The men are essentially venting on Kenyan women who wish to be married to considerate partners of whatever race, instead of improving their treatment of them in order to attract the women.
This is not to say that all White men from Europe are good. Indeed, some of them have began to take advantage of the situation because they sense how desperate educated African women are for good and kind husbands.
But the reality is that many White men come from cultures that do not necessarily subject women to Forced Female Genital Mutilation, pay bride-price for them (or buy) them from their fathers, rip them open on the wedding night, make demands that the wife give birth to the odd three or four sons, and beat them up whenever they burn food, iron shirts the wrong way, do not till the land well, serve supper late, refuse sex because they are sick or pregnant again, etc.
There are some African men who are kind to their wives. But they are definitely NOT in the majority. I would advice any woman from outside Africa who would like to make a home with an African man to consider this issue very seriously. Even if the African man in question has three or four PhDs, and has lived in the US forever, look deeper than his superficial educational qualities.
Think of things in the future, instead of now. For instance, If you want to settle with him in Africa, have you talked to him about Female Genital Mutilation, and whether he approves of it? If he is evasive about this, can you countenance such a thing being done to your little girl, if you have one with him? So many things to consider!
Africa is a huge continent, with over 50 countries, and filled with many tribes and types of Africans; and everything from villages to big modern cities. I generally hear that Ghanian men tend to be the most easy going. The one I know seems to be pretty laid back and reasonable, but uses corporal punishment with his daughter (as I did with mine). I’m aware that the men rule the household. At the same time, mothers are strong there, and have alot to say. Example, they have a strong opinion about any son’s love interests! Is any of this beginning to change with people getting more educated? My African pals say that is the trend, for more and more women to get educated/ go to work, and contribute more to household decisions. And the few that I know who came from a polygamous household, were not happy about growing up in that kind of environment. The man I know, had a father that married only one woman, and he treated her kindly.
I met a man from Cameroon. He is like a Prince Charming and he makes me feel like Cindarella. He is very distant and talks to me once a day. I have fallen in love with his chivalry. Anyway, he wants to get married and I’m willing to. I’m hoping that he isn’t trying to use me to gain Citizen
Please make sure he has his green card or an US citizen. If not he going to marry you and get his paper behind your back and run off. Africans think all African Americans are dumb and stupid. Be careful my sister.
Exactly what kate said..that is hoe they think. Bbe wise. I am married to one but my head is on he will never get that green card from me
Take your time if you are not sure of his intentions, and I wish you luck. I met a Ghanian and since I’m unable to go there to meet him and his mother/family, he is going to try to come here. He applied for the visa diversity lottery to see if he wins. He also might apply for some work in Canada, which is not too far away from me. Canadians hire workers from overseas. There is a possibility that a company over here would hire him as well….we’ll see what happens. Right now he is running his own business in Ghana, and he volunteers for the NGO as a youth organizer, and is very proud of what he does there.
What is the meaning of being distant ? Could it mean he is evasive , and does not answer your questions ?
Never underestimate your assessment of your relationship.
Cheating african men it’s true I’m married to an african man for only 4 months it’s hell on earth always sneaking off taking calls show a text from another woman he was replying bro her text baby I’m at work it never stops I can feel it it’s always something I sware if you want to date a african man date first look for signs it’s the worse relationship in my life the husband from hell seriously I’m ready for a divorce
Americanwife: What you wrote could easily have been written by ANY American wife regarding an American man. Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton, Halle Berry, Kardarshians… all have divorced their men. Even being a beautiful woman does not a marriage make!
Your man was cheating on you BEFORE your marriage 4 months ago. Be wiser next time!
After reading the post yes all men cheat lie ect……..I know all African men are not the same but the majority of black woman have been taken advantage of. When you have a pure heart and you’re not knowledgable of scams and being used for papers. It may be hard to detect especially if they are good at pretending. One million emails, Facebook, all types of social media, belittling, racist against black Americans, sneaky, conditional love, temper tantrums. It’s all true my marriage is hell on wheels. Worst mistake I have ever made in my life. The majority of these stories are the same and true. It’s not comparing all men it’s speaking about the experience AA had with men from the continent of Africa. Green card is the majority and that’s a fact and it’s sad. I will not not and I repeat will not file any papers and as time go on my decision make since. Although against God I have to divorce and repent and ask for forgiveness. I can’t do it sorry.
I’m a AA woman, and I’ve been dating a ghanian man for about 3 years. He was married previously for 5 years but it ended in divorce. I have a daughter from a previous relationship that he absolutely adores and treats her like his own and he doesn’t have any children. He provides & overall a good man. But there are many things mentioned in these comments that are SO TRUE! He is a very secretive man & a major flirt. I don’t get upset about those things really but it makes me wonder a lot. We’ve talked about marriage, but I’m just not sure. Can anyone give me some advice? Or personal experiences.
I ll let her go deal with her boys who dont know what belts are ,will likely not stay away from jail and will stikl beat her ,hump on her ,do the same things she complained about african men ,she has stereotype us and i will do the same .The most stable homes are in Africa not in America despite the difficulties.
All the women here are suckers. All the West Africans LITERALLY rehearse the lines they will use to pick up women. They borrow money, INTENTIONALLY prowl areas they will get easy women, identify a target and then feed her lines they have rehearsed the previous night…. I KID YOU NOT. Ask yourself a simple question… if they are so good…why are they marrying you instead of their own women. Nigerian are by far the worst LIARS, GREEN CARD WANNABEES, DRUG DEALERS, NEEDY, MAN-CHILDREN, SPOLIT TANTRUMS. Look at the country and see how effed up it is. I would advice you though to avoid Jamaicans as they are lazy and dumb. Best get an educated African American man from stable family and a regular at the local church
I am an African man and will say it’s quite sad to hear from my fellow African sisters on this wonderful forum as of how stupid and Carlos some of our own African brothers have been or have treated some of them the ladies/women. Believe me that we as Africans can make the BEST of a genuine PERFECT relationship and marriage together than with any other race on earth,the difference is clear.All my life from Childhood until date i have always wished hoped and prayed to get married to an African American and the dream hasn’t gone off yet because i believe in African women in general (Black Women) especially hardworking and God fearing African American Women.No matter all the negativity caused by some of our fellow African brothers,I still haven’t given up in meeting my Dream Come True African American Wife one day soon.I believe talking out any doubts in real relationships matter a lot and can fix things out from the worst.I must say True Love and the fear of GOD is the Success for it all.If you really love someone and fear God ,and won’t like seeing your sister or daughter misused /treated badly,this will make you as a real man to be conscious about treating a woman badly and a fellow black woman for that matter again.Life is too short to be a cheat and playing with people’s heart and feelings.
I am willing to make it the BEST of a man you can ever think of as and African American QUEEN,believe me you will never regret it.I will be 30 years soon and have not gotten into any funny relations bcuz i am actually afraid for any any woman to broke my heart as well.Contact me if you need any perfect relationship and marriage[,Email; email@example.com ] or whats app or call me ;+ 974 70789662.] You will have details of me if u want,just get to contact me.But please only someone serious and God fearing.
Hello my heart goes out to you I feel your hurt. I recently broke up with my Ghanian Fiance. After three years of heartache I’m now left alone with a 10 month old Baby girl. African men are very good at providing, but they’re very disrespectful they love to cheat, and if you say anything you’re always wrong. I have a lot of Nigerian friends their husbands cheats a lot and they just live with it. They’re the worst!!! Period
I agree they love to cheat and they are good at it. Does not matter if they love you and you are engaged. Same happened to me.
I have been
I recently began talking to a man from the Gambia we are both the same age and he seems like a breath of fresh air (that country has magic) because he’s not really my type but I love his personality and his words before I got to involved I decided to look up a few things and came across a forum with hundreds of threads of women saying they are scanners manipulative using women for visas and money out of every 50 stories 1 was positive these ratios made me come to him with these things he was confused and claimed to not know men did that I began to let him know I have no desire in getting married nor am I rich I have no money to send to family members which he seemed to understand stating he had no desire to come to America or ask me for anything (he actually sends my children gifts) although I do plan on visiting him next year in may I’m in no rush to do anything until I’m 100% sure of all motives I’ve spoken with several family members am I nervous absolutely but finding love is not easy I’ve been hurt cheated on lied to and beaten all by American men so you can’t damn an entire continent because a few 100 women have been lied to think of the millions of women getting used and abused in America or Europe not for a green card but FOR NO REASON at all I’d say that’s much worse you have to be wise and careful when falling for someone no matter where you meet them there are bad apples all over this world
I absolutely agree with you, I’m married to a Ghanaian, as long as you keep God 1st in everything you do, you’re covered. My husband & I both will be traveling abroad to his country next year for vacation. Actually we got married in his country last year. If it wasn’t for well Christian valued people (all of my in-laws that’s here in the States) I would have no clue, besides his mother introduced us. Keep God 1st sis!
have been for a full year an African man texting have never spoken on the phone not once but yet he swears,he loves me ha ha I go along with it
he claims he has no phone aw but he swears he loves me . How in the world could he love me like I say I go along with him but I will never believe he loves me. Tell me what you all think of this one. too funny kmsl
How can he text you and not call ??? I’m confused about that of my boyfriend tried that he wouldn’t have to worry about me answering one text from him I have my boyfriend text me all day when I’m at work phone calls when I get off and video chat when I’m doing cooking and this is every single day so that texting only thing he has going I would duece him
Hi everyone Africa Mens are very smart it’s their job to make an American females feel good about herself, they tell U that they love U and wants to spend the rest of the their life with U, but not knowing none of that is real, some of them are young boys posting other people Pics on line, just to get U to fall in love with them, but remember they are good in what they do so be careful
DR. KENE DILLI HELPED ME GET MY WIFE BACK TO ME
We had been married for a while and things were OK, I was in love with her, she was crazy about me, but later on everything changed and by complicated exterior circumstances which did not have to do with us, we decided to pause for a while, but still remain friends. But in the end, she started getting cold: she treated me as if she did not know me, she acted too immature to the point where she did not even say hi to me when we bumped into each other (we had the same circle of friends). Of course, it hurt so badly, I wanted to kill her. Then out of nowhere she disappeared. I wrote her for her birthday and she replied little. Some of my “friends” saw she had left and started going cold with me too, as if it was my fault that she had left. The few that were still my close friends and still hers, told me she had moved on, that it was best not to make contact with her. Then out of the blue some months later she reappeared, but still acting like a douche. I was suffering emotionally of course, because we had never even had a divorce, it was just supposed to be a pause, so I did not know how to react, what to feel, what to do… anyway, she kept coming over and over on the weekends, and I had to deal with my “friends” who the moment they saw her, immediately left me and went over to her. Eventually, I decided to give up trying to restore anything with her as she was showing no signs of wanting me back, and started healing. Around four months after we had ended our relationship, I find out she is with another guy! That’s when I knew I had not gotten over her, because I cried, I was mad, it was just a feeling of “oh, poor me”. I could not stand losing her to some other guy, I decided to go diabolical (i.e. via spell). I got involved with a lot of fraudulent so-called spell casters on the internet who ripped me off my money without getting a result as to what I wanted. I almost lost my sanity. Just as I almost was giving up, one faithful morning, I received a mail from one of the spell castes I had applied for spell with but never got a reply all along. He made me to understand that he could not attend to all his costumers then because it was that time of the year for his annual fellowship with his ancestors for the renewal of his spiritual and supernatural gift. I told him not to worry about the spell anymore, that I was done with all of them fake spell casters. He assured me of his 100% genuine work of this gift which he possessed. I decided to give it a try. After spending about 2500 USD (which was due to my inability to provide a whole lot of materials which he needed for the spell process), I am happy to announce to the world that I have gotten back my wife and we are expecting our first baby. All thanks to Dr. Kene Dilli. All you out there tired of all these fraudsters that call themselves spell casters (seeking to rip were they have not sown) and you require legitimate spell for whatsoever purpose, contact Dr. Kene Dilli on his email address; kenedillitemples AT yahoo DOT com.RE-WRITE THE EMAIL ADDRESS IN IT’S STANDARD FORM.
Hi I am 20 years old and dating a African man who was born in the U.S but the rest of his family resides in Africa.So I do not have to worry about the “green card” stuff. We have only been dating for a few months and I can already tell how the relationship will go. I was born here in Cali and am not used to being controlled. We argue mainly about things that I really do not care for. He belittles me and makes everything my fault. I cannot wear revealing clothes, I have to wear a belt every time I wear pants of shorts, if I do not call to check in then that brings up another arguement. Tonight, we went on a movie date and he paid for the ticket. Out of familiarity I said “Thanks, but you did not have too.” He said that I was treating him like a side guy by saying that but to me I was simply showing my gratitude. It’s safe to say that I love him but his culture and religion is totally different from mines. Should I stick it out and deal with it for “love” or just leave? I need advice! I’m tired of crying everyday because of a big fight.
It won’t get any better. He will always be right in a disagreement regardless of the situation also. I know how sweet they can be and how they can say just the right things you want to hear at times but it doesn’t last.
I don’t know who’s the ignorant one…the Nigerian Women who take up for their lying, cheating , deceitful men, or the Men themselves….immature, foolish, selfish, habitual liars…etc. Need I go on? Every single Nigerian man I have ever met, worked with, seen, heard about, have all cheated on their wives and treat them like dogs. The truth is the truth is the truth. I’ve been to the country, married into the culture….know all about that, believe me. An African man does not respect a woman, he only sees a thing to have sex with, caring Only about his Needs and Wants. Screw Nigerian Men, African men….I’d rather be single than deal with an African. Truth hurts.
I Promise u for you won’t regret this ever,believe me.I want to treat you like a true QUEEN that any REAL woman deserves.
Just contact me : firstname.lastname@example.org or 00974 70789662.But i hope you are serious and GOD fearing.
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